There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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