Its about making memories worth repressing
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
