You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Randomize
