opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
