Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
