I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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