i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
