She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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