so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
