Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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