dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
