why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize
