If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
