so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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