capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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