mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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