I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
