Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
this just has baby written all over it
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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