this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Can you repeat that, but with context?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
