her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
