A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
