I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
