OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
