Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
