I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
