I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
