Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize
