I could have mohawked her pubes.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
