so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
