brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
