At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
