My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
