If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
