we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
