My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
