remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
