My sheets look like a crime scene.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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