dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
