we have officially lost it.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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