Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
