I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
