i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
