I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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