So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
