I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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