why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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