she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
