Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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