If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
be right there i have to get my cape
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
