i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
