New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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