Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
