she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
